Feedback from others

I actually printed out the comments on my rough draft. There were so many good comments, and constructive criticism given.

I think my comments from Dani are really going to help me. She broke down many of my paragraphs, and mentioned my choice of grammar and word choice.
One big thing that she mentioned was that I need a better opening. I also felt this way when I was writing my article. I think that her suggestions might lead me to a better opening.

Some of the other comments were on grammatical errors. This is extremely useful. I tend to make mistakes in these areas. So any help I can get, I am glad for it!

I also got some comments on subject matter. I was surprised that some of the other writers in our class had an opinion about this subject. I hope that this makes it interesting for a newspaper feature.

There were also some suggestions and advice when quoting sources. This is also helpful to me, I think that quoting a source can either make or break an article, and I don’t want to mess up.

I also received another tip for my opening. Possibly using an anecdote or something that really grabs the attention of the reader.

I want to do one more additional interview for my feature, and I also want to rewrite the lead, and possibly set the scene of the movie.

There was not really any advice that I am not going to try to take and use. I think that it is so helpful to get others to see problems or errors that need to be fixed. I also think that I am going to try and restructure my feature just a bit to help it flow better.